


Physician, Heal Thyself - Part One

by doseki



Series: Physician, Heal Thyself [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doseki/pseuds/doseki





	Physician, Heal Thyself - Part One

Strange, how I was inspired to start this. I mean, I suppose your memoirs were the reason I started to write my own, but talking over subspace with Mum was definitely the catalyst.

I love my mother. Don't get me wrong. But just talking her and Dad makes me get so... _angry_ And she will _not_ stop calling me Jules, no matter how many times I ask her. I've gone off about it before. A few years ago, in fact, when they were going to set up that LMH after me. Okay, that was probably the last time I really went off about it.

Mum and I were talking, and I just snapped at a certain point and had a shouting fit at her for a good five minutes. I was so worked up that Dad tried to intervene. Of course, seeing him just meant that I got louder, to the point where I shouted myself hoarse.

Nothing like your parents to bring out your inner child.

I don't have any illusions that they'll stop calling me that name from my childhood, but I felt somewhat better for my outburst, and I know that for a while they'll call me Julian. 

The first time I went off, I'd said something along the lines of "Jules died in that hospital." This time I said "Jules. _Died._ I can give you a step-by-step accounting of his last days, last minutes, even the last few seconds. And calling me that is beyond disrespectful to him, so will you fucking stop calling me by his name?"

The awkward silence that followed was at last broken by me, and I was trying so hard to keep control. I uttered a monotonous "good bye" and cut transmission before they could say anything.

I don't know how much of it you witnessed. I know that you came up behind me a few minutes after the view screen went blank and asked if I could use some tea. How much did you hear, I wonder?

But even after a cup of tea and a discussion with you about the subtle nuances in Al Rischan music, I still felt angry. It was an anger that didn't seem to be directed at anything in particular, and I didn't really know the best way to express it.

That night, when I was going through my personal files on my PADD, I came across your memoirs, and suddenly, I knew what I could do to release that anger.

Now, here I am, writing my own memoirs and wondering where I should start. The beginning, most people would say. I can do that, though it'll be tricky, at least for the start of it. Jules perceived the world very differently than I do. He didn't have a lot of words for his world. I have them now, and I have the ability to recall memories with almost perfect precision. Even so, it will still be tricky for me. To go through that point in my life again, and actually comprehend what was going on in a way that I didn't back then.

It all started on Earth, just over thirty years ago.


End file.
